Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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