How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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