I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
