Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
