9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What drink are we having for lunch?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
