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Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
