11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
