Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
