I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We left the knife in your bed.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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