What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
