I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
