That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
