This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
