I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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