Will you blow on my dice?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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