well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
