i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
