It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My bed smells like the plague
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
