I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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