im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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