Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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