is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
