if i died would you start the facebook group?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
