What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
