thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
