hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
