I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
