I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
