I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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