the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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