Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
