everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
