Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
