girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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