Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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