help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
