omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
