so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Your cock deserves a montage
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
