yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
