i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
