btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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