I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
