So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
my liver is dry heaving
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
