nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
