out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
