naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
