I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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