Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
