I'm really into asian looking animals
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
