Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
