yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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