My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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