He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Mom said you looked used
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
