so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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