The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
