Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
