By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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